The Eggplant, Conquered

I have never been a fan of eggplant. My experience with it has been slimy, rubbery, and downright strange. So, on a recent trip to my local Whole Foods, I was shocked to find myself leaving the store with one tucked away in my bag (next to the Pirates’ Booty and baby spinach). Why did I buy one? Because eggplant is everywhere. Because it has invaded the local menus, and practically hijacked all major newspapers’ food sections. And because I was in the mood for a challenge.

I decided to pair it with lentils, caramelized onions, and fresh thyme. Not only did this dish come together quickly, making it the perfect weeknight dinner (and leftover lunch), but it turned out to be absolutely delicious. The golden brown sear on the eggplant was key- it gave the vegetable a nutty richness that I never knew it could have, with absolutely no slime. Consider me an eggplant convert.

Note: Sadly I didn’t have any on hand, but feta or a mild, tangy goat cheese would make a fantastic addition here. Also, this could be a great accompaniment to roast salmon.

Ingredients:

2 cups eggplant, cut into small cubes
½ sweet yellow onion, cut into slivers
5 oz canned or rehydrated dried brown lentils
½ cube chicken bouillon
1 tbsp fresh thyme
Feta or goat cheese to garnish (optional)

. Sauté eggplant in olive oil over medium heat until thoroughly browned
. Remove from heat and set aside
. In the same pan, sauté onions in olive oil over low heat until caramelized, around 15 minutes
. Add lentils, thyme, and bouillon, and cook for 2 minutes stirring frequently
. Add eggplant, stirring to combine
. Garnish with feta or goat cheese and more fresh thyme

The King of Crab Cakes

The crab cake is the culinary crown jewel of Maryland, and also the first real dish I ever cooked as a kid. So naturally, it has a special place in my heart. For a recent dinner party, I changed up my usual repertoire, using panko bread crumbs in place of regular ones, and baking the cakes instead of pan-frying them. As a finishing touch, I drizzled them with melted Old Bay butter and topped them with a dollop of tangy tartar sauce.

These crab cakes are fantastic on their own, sandwiched between a toasted bun, or atop vegetables. Here I served them over a salad of butter lettuce with garlic croutons, roasted corn, and fresh parsley, all tossed in a light herb vinaigrette.

If you happen to have an extra crab cake (which is unlikely), it makes the perfect filling for a morning-after omelet. Simply break up the cake, add whatever vegetable you may have on hand (such as tomatoes, bell peppers, or corn), and tangy goat cheese, and throw the whole mixture in the skillet with a few eggs for one incredible scramble or an elegant omelet.

Cakes:
1 lb lump crabmeat
1 egg
1/4 tsp dry mustard
2 tblsp mayonnaise
1 tsp lemon juice
1 tblsp dijon mustard
1 tblsp melted butter
1 tsp Old Bay seasoning
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs

Old Bay butter:
1 stick salted butter, melted
2 tsp Old Bay seasoning, or to taste

Tartar sauce:
1/2 cup olive oil mayo
1/4 cup greek yogurt
Juice of 2 lemons
4 tbsp capers plus some juice
1 tsp garlic salt

Yield: 6 cakes

. Combine all ingredients for cakes, except crab meat. Stir to blend.
. Fold in crabmeat
. Shape mixture into cakes
. Bake at 375 degrees for 12-15 minutes until it reaches an internal temperature of 165 degrees. If additional browning is needed, broil for 3-5 minutes before serving
. For butter, combine melted butter with Old Bay seasoning. Drizzle lightly over cakes
. For tartar sauce, combine all ingredients and whisk to blend. Spoon over crab cakes or pass as an accompaniment

Farmers Market in a Bowl

Lately, I cannot get enough of my local farmers markets. There is something exceedingly romantic about the whole idea. Who cares if I pay twice as much as I would at some colossal, impersonal superstore? I'm able to brush off the fresh soil still clinging to my head of spinach and look deep into the eyes of the individual who plucked it from the earth.

So, in the spirit of late Spring/early Summer bounty and my insatiable hunger for everything local, I created the following pasta dish, which is much more about the vegetables than the noodles. Consider it a farmers market tribute.

Ingredients:

3 small zucchinis, cubed
1 pint whole yellow cherry tomatoes (can substitute red)
1 shallot, minced
3 red or orange bell peppers, coarsely chopped
1 cup fresh peas, shelled
Juice and zest of 1 lemon
1/3 pound pasta (I used whole wheat angel hair)
1/3 cup feta cheese (optional)
Chives for garnish

. Toss chopped zucchini, peppers, and cherry tomatoes with olive oil, garlic powder, salt and pepper
. Roast in 375 degree oven for 30-45 min or until tender (peppers may need 45 minutes)
. Meanwhile, cook pasta, drain and set aside
. Sautee shallots and fresh peas in olive oil until tender
. Add cooked roasted vegetables, pasta, lemon juice, most lemon zest, and fresh basil
. Season with feta, any remaining lemon zest, and chopped chives

Note: This recipe is easily adaptable according to how much and what kind of produce your market is offering

The Art of the Dinner Party Menu

Half the fun of cooking is seeing people enjoying your food, but crafting the perfect menu for your guests can be tricky.

When it’s my turn to play hostess, I try to avoid overly-fussy foods which can stress me out and intimidate my fellow diners, opting instead for dishes that will both nourish and impress. Two of my favorite strategies are:

1. Taking a classic comfort food and redefining it with luxurious ingredients (truffled mashed potatoes or lobster pot pie, anyone?) or…

2. Serving an easy one-pot meal in an unexpected, elegant way (using strategic component placement, creative plating, and lavish garnishes)

In both cases, the dishes feel special, yet familiar, while requiring minimal effort on your part.

For my most recent dinner party, I opted for the latter of the two strategies and whipped up a batch of shrimp and grits, an easy southern classic. To serve, I carefully assembled the shrimp mixture on top of fluffy beds of grits in shallow dishes, creating a stacking effect. I finished the plates with a garnish of parsley, feta, and scallions, plus an extra drizzle of sauce. In this way, what could have just been a bowl of “slop” was transformed into a stylish dish. For dessert, I dressed up a simple cheesecake with a silken layer of amaretto whipped cream and a glossy garnish of fresh raspberries to create an elegant version of the standard. Minimal stress, maximum payoff.

Smoky Shrimp with Cheddar Grits

My take on a classic. The uninhibited use of bacon grease, while not the healthiest addition, gives a real depth of flavor to the dish- something not easily accomplished without simmering for hours or marinating in the refrigerator overnight. The result is true soul-warming comfort food: juicy shrimp smothered in tomatoes and peppers, smoky chunks of ham and crispy bits of bacon, with a little kick of Old Bay spice. Spoon the mixture over creamy white cheddar grits, and cholesterol will be the last thing on your mind.

Grits
1 cup whipping cream
3 cups water
½ tsp salt
2 cups instant grits
3 cups grated white cheddar cheese (12 oz)

. Combine cream, water, and salt in a large saucepan over medium-high heat
. Bring the mixture to a boil and slowly whisk in the grits- should thicken almost immediately
. Stir in the cheddar cheese
. Cover and keep warm over a low heat.

Shrimp
5 slices thick-cut bacon, chopped
1.5 pound shrimp (about 20- peeled, deveined, and half-butterflied)
Butter
Olive oil
2 shallots, minced
1 yellow bell pepper, chopped
½ cup cubed, smoked ham (or sausage- preferably Andouille)
¼ cup dry white wine (a splash, enough to deglaze pan)
1 can diced tomatoes (with juice)
2 tsp Old Bay
Dashes of: dried oregano, cayenne pepper, dried thyme, ground coriander, garlic powder, dried basil
Parsley, chopped (to taste)
Scallions (for garnish)
Feta (for garnish)

. Cook bacon bits, drain and set aside
. Sautee shrimp in bacon grease, set aside
. Cook shallots in remaining bacon grease, olive oil and butter
. Add green bell peppers, sauté until tender (cover to steam for a few minutes)
. Add ham cubes
. Deglaze pan with wine; allow some of the alcohol to cook off
. Add tomatoes, some of liquid from shrimp, and all the spices, simmer until peppers are cooked and flavors meld
. Stir in shrimp and half of the parsley
. Spoon over cooked grits
. Top with feta, bacon bits, scallions, and remaining parsley

Amaretto Cream Cheesecake with Raspberries

This simple pie rendered my guests speechless (one even declared it the best dessert he’s ever had!) That said, it truly is other-worldly, with the flavors playing off one-another to create a perfect balance: a hint of salt in the buttery crust, fluffy cream contrasting smooth custard, a zip of tartness from the raspberries, and floral notes of lemon and almond floating throughout. Not too dense or sweet, just silky, sumptuous goodness. This is NOT your average, pre-sliced Cheesecake Factory pie.

Cheesecake
2 cups ground vanilla wafer cookies (Whole Foods brand was great)
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) salted butter, melted

3 8-ounce packages cream cheese, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 large eggs
2 large egg yolks

Topping
Whipped cream
Splash of amaretto
Granulated sugar

Berry Sauce
¾ of a jar of Smucker’s seedless raspberry jam
1 pint of raspberries
¾ pint of blueberries

For cheesecake:
. Preheat oven to 325°F.
. Blend cookies and butter together in food processor
. Press mixture into the bottom of the pie pan (not on the sides)
. Using hand-held electric mixer, beat cream cheese, sugar, and vanilla together in large bowl until fluffy (about 1 minute). Add eggs and yolks, one at a time, blending after each
. Pour batter into pie pan
. Bake until cheesecake is set in center, and it’s starting to brown/crack- about 50 minutes
. Run a butter knife around the outside to loosen from pie pan
. Cool completely
. Whip cream to stiff peaks, adding sugar gradually, then fold in a splash of amaretto
. Spread cream on top of cheesecake with spatula
. Refrigerate (covered, but without Saran wrap touching the cake) for several hours before serving (can be made a day ahead)

For sauce:
. Heat jam until melted into thick liquid
. Remove from heat, then stir in berries
. Refrigerate until ready to serve

Inspiration: Green Curry Paste

While waiting in an unusually long line for my favorite sashimi and ginger salad this afternoon, I spotted an exotic ingredient on the shelf next to me: green curry paste. Inspired, I couldn't resist the impulse buy, nor could I stop myself from dreaming up some interesting things to do with it!

. Add milk or chicken stock to make broth- add rice noodles, tofu chunks, mushrooms, cilantro/Thai basil, onions, (lime juice and zest?), julienned carrots and green papaya garnish
. Mix with cream or thick coconut milk, toss with tagliatelli, peas, and shrimp
. Use as sauce for roasted salmon with lots of basil
. Toss with halved baby new potatoes and chickpeas
. Use as a dip for duck fat fries or plantains
. Mix in with mashed potatoes (serve with grilled chicken or lamb)
. Mix with canola oil, drizzle over roasted cauliflower florets (and potatoes?), garnished with fried chickpeas and shallots
. Blend with cauliflower and cilantro to create emulsion- use as a bed for scallops (with coriander/caraway panko crust)
. Use as dip for shrimp or cauliflower tempura
. Drizzle over pan-fried basil, zucchini or corn fritters (also drizzle sauce made with red curry paste for contrast)
. Mixed into veggie burger patties, topped with ginger mango chutney, serve on open-faced pita with micro greens
. Drizzle over fried egg on top of scallion, ginger fried rice (cilantro garnish)
. Tossed with mango and shrimp stir-fry, include lemongrass, basil, chopped peanuts, crispy shallot slices, and carrots

The Egg: Part II

After a very busy month, the Food Lush is back! As the second installation of the series, this post focuses on the first dish I ever learned to cook: scrambled eggs.

Along the same lines as its hardboiled cousin, the scrambled egg is easy enough to make, but deceptively difficult to master. There are only a couple seconds spent in a skillet that separate a fluffy, creamy scramble from a dry and rubbery one.

To avoid this, add a splash of whipping cream before beating the mixture by hand for a full 30-45 seconds. Another (important) trick is to cook the mixture over low heat, stirring frequently, so the curds form slowly and don’t get left to overcook on the bottom of the skillet.

However, if you only take one thing away from reading this, let it be: SALT THE EGGS. Without it, any scramble will be boring and tasteless, regardless of how well it was cooked.

The result of all these added steps: velvety, melt-in-your mouth eggs.

That said, as good as they are on their own (albeit with a side of bacon), I didn’t want to just leave it at that. Below is my recipe for what I consider the ultimate scrambled egg dish- complete with luscious smoked salmon and fresh dill, sprinkled with salty pops of caviar and capers, and finished with a dollop of crème fraiche. Serve this alongside mimosas for one incredible brunch.

Scrambled Eggs with Smoked Salmon and Creme Fraiche

4 large eggs
1 tbsp heavy whipping cream
1 tsp fresh dill, chopped
1 tbsp salted butter
Salt and freshly-ground pepper

1/8 lb sliced smoked salmon
1 tbsp salmon caviar
1 tbsp capers
1 tsp red onion, minced (optional)
1 tbsp creme fraiche
Additional fresh dill for garnish

. Heat butter in skillet over medium-low heat
. Beat eggs, whipping cream, and dill by hand for 30-45 seconds until frothy
. Pour egg mixture into pan, stirring frequently until desired consistency
. Add salt and pepper, then transfer eggs to plate
. Drape slices of salmon over egg pile
. Garnish with caviar, capers, onion, and creme fraiche to taste

The Egg: Part I

This week's post focuses on the deceptively complicated hardboiled egg.

The subject has fascinated me lately. Not only are they a healthy source of lean protein, but they’re also extremely versatile. They’re a kind of blank canvas, just waiting for a punch of flavor and complimentary textures to be added.

Boiling one to perfection- meaning absolutely no sulfur smell- seems to be as illusive as the Holy Grail, however. The key is to avoid over-cooking the egg at all costs, for nothing ruins an egg salad faster than green yolks and a pungent aroma!

I’ve included below what I believe is a foolproof recipe for basic hard-boiled eggs, as well as the perfect way to highlight them: a cobb-style shrimp and egg salad. The combination of succulent shrimp, creamy avocado, smoky bacon, sweet cherry tomatoes, and tangy blue cheese lend a great base for perfectly prepared eggs.

The Hardboiled Egg: Conquered

. Place 5-6 large eggs in pot with cold (but not freezing) water that covers them by an inch
. Turn stove on medium heat
. Cook for 25 minutes uncovered
. Place immediately in an ice bath and let sit for 15 minutes

Shrimp and Egg Cobb Salad:

Serves 4

5 slices bacon cooked, chopped
1 cup halved grape tomatoes
.65 pounds shrimp (about 20 large shrimp) (salt and peppered, cooked in bacon grease)
2 tbsp mayo made with olive oil
1 ½ tbsp chives, finely chopped
6 hardboiled eggs, chopped into large pieces (I only used 3 with yolks)
1 avocado, cut into small chunks
Juice of 1 small lemon
Salt and pepper to taste

. Combine all ingredients, tossing gently to coat
. Sprinkle with blue cheese to taste
. Garnish with additional chives and serve immediately

* Cook’s note: This recipe is perfect for a picnic, as long as you do not allow the avocado to be exposed to the air for a lengthy period of time beforehand. Also, for an elegant summer lunch party, you could fill avocado cups with the mixture to serve

Somebody smelled the bacon...!

Love in a Cup

Perhaps I was infected by the Valentine’s Day fever that has already swept the nation into a punch-drunk stupor, or maybe I was inspired by the recent snow storm that left DC swathed in a cool and creamy candescence…

… but whatever the reason, I found myself dreaming up a luscious white chocolate mousse during my Monday morning conference call, when I clearly should have been concentrating on more substantive matters. In any case, I couldn’t wait to get into my kitchen and create it.

Fast-forward 12 hours and the product of my musings was complete. And it was resplendent. The silken chocolate cream settled softly in voluptuous, glossy dollops within champagne flutes, as the sinfully-rich raspberry coulis rolled down its slopes. As a final touch, I perched fresh raspberries atop the velvety peaks for a tangy finish.

The mousse was everything I had hoped for- luxurious, indulgent, sexy, and positively euphoric. Like an intoxicating love affair without any negative repercussions.

If love were a dish… this would be it.

Hominy: The Forgotten Corn

The Native Americans once considered hominy a culinary staple long ago. In modern times, however, it seems that the corn product has been demoted; relegated to humble stews and not much else. I’ve been intrigued by the mysterious starch for many years now, but only recently did I give in and actually spring for a can of it.

I decided to try something different with the ingredient that would really highlight its tender, chewy bite and mild corn flavor. I came up with several intriguing concepts:


. Hominy pizza: fried corn tortilla topped with hominy, black beans, pulled pork (or even rotisserie chicken sprinkled with paprika and cumin), chili verde salsa, mango, cilantro,, and queso fresco (put in oven to warm everything and melt cheese)

. Hominy grits cakes: puree hominy in food processor, combine with finely-chopped crispy bacon, roll into balls, chill until firm, then flatten into patties, pan-fry in butter, and top with fried egg and salsa

. Hominy turkey chili: add hominy to onions, garlic, chili powder, chipotle powder, cubed or ground turkey, kidney beans, and tomatoes and simmer until flavors meld

. Hominy pilaf: sauté hominy and zucchini with cooked whole wheat orzo in garlic olive oil, then mix in parsley and garnish with feta and chopped, toasted walnuts

. Hominy nachos: roll hominy in panko bread crumbs and deep-fry, top with melted jalapeno jack cheese, shredded lettuce, salsa, and ground beef cooked in taco seasoning

And last but not least,

. Hominy salsa, served warm: pan-fry hominy in butter, add red onion, bell peppers, black beans, garnish with queso fresco and cilantro (See recipe below)


Southwestern Salmon with Warm Hominy and Black Bean Salsa

For the salmon:
. 4 salmon fillets with skin removed
. ½ tsp paprika
. ¼ tsp ground cayenne pepper
. ½ tsp garlic powder
. 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
. Freshly ground salt and pepper, to taste

For the salsa:
. 2 tbsp salted butter
. 2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
. 16 oz canned white hominy
. 16 oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed
. 1 red bell pepper, large dice
. ½ red onion, finely chopped
. ¼ jalapeño, minced
. ¼ cup cilantro, chopped
. Zest of 1 lime
. Juice of ½ lime (more, if desired)
. Freshly ground sea salt

For garnish:
. Cilantro
. Queso fresco (or feta)
. Lime zest

. Preheat oven to broil

. Heat butter in skillet over medium heat
. Stir in garlic and cook for a minute, being careful not to let it brown
. Add hominy, bell pepper, and jalapeño, and sauté for 10 minutes, until peppers are soft
. Add black beans, lime juice and zest, cilantro, and salt
. Continue to cook for 10 more minutes until flavors meld

Meanwhile…
. Dry salmon fillets with paper towel and season both sides with spices, salt, and pepper
. Broil fish uncovered on foil-covered cookie sheet for 5 minutes
. Remove fish from oven, cover with foil, and broil for 2-3 more minutes

. Spoon “salsa” onto plate and top with salmon fillet
. Garnish with more cilantro, lime zest, and crumbled queso fresco

*Cook’s Note: This dish would also be great served with broiled jumbo shrimp

A Saucy Dilemma

These days, everything seems to come super-sized, and tomato sauce is no exception. The jars on supermarket shelves usually come in sizes so large you’d have to cook a pound of pasta to use them up. If you’re like me and don’t have a family of four to feed (and don’t eat like a family of four), then you’re probably familiar with “bottom-third” syndrome. According to this phenomenon, a consumer constantly finds himself/herself left with an excess third of the jarred contents that wasn’t needed in a given meal.

What’s a cook to do?

One day, in my frustration (and during a particularly boring interdisciplinary studies class in college), I brainstormed recipes that would require only that last third of the jar, and which were more interesting than just spaghetti or meatloaf.

I’ve listed those ideas below. Some are more ambitious than others (i.e. cheddar chive soufflés with tomato crème), but all will save you from the dreaded “bottom-third.”

. Mix with half-and-half, thyme and sherry for instant tomato bisque
. Add to risotto at the end of cooking, before stirring in parmesan
. Add chicken broth to create a soup base, add aromatics and pasta
. Mix with white or brown rice as a side dish, adding cannellini beans if desired
. Cook green beans in sauce, add lemon and fresh oregano to finish
. Slather on a char-grilled cheese burger with melted mozzarella and toasted brioche bun
. Stir in a spoonful of sauce to alfredo sauce for a twist on the classic fettuccini or macaroni and cheese
. Top scrambled eggs or fill an omelet with sauce, adding fresh parsley and pancetta
. Add diced mango and orange zest as a topping for broiled salmon
. Grill Italian sausages with onions and peppers, then top with sauce and white beans
. Bake chopped eggplant and zucchini in sauce with fresh herbs, topped with melted mozzarella
. Stir into hummus or white bean dip, adding fresh thyme
. Bake cheddar chive soufflés, drizzle with tomato cream to finish
. Add chipotle peppers, smoked paprika, and chili flakes as a topping for pulled pork bbq sandwiches
. Spoon over polenta, adding sausage if desired, and bake casserole-style in cast-iron skillet

The recipe below stemmed from idea #3 on the list above. It’s a simple soup, yet it boasts complex and robust Italian flavors that don’t take hours to develop.

Italian Orzo Soup

1/2 cup olive oil (coat pot bottom)
2/3 of one white onion, finely chopped
4 small cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 cup jarred marinara sauce
6 spoonfuls canned tomato chunks
4 tbsp fresh rosemary
32 oz chicken broth
1 large chicken bouillon cube
Juice of 1 lemon
15 oz can white kidney beans (cannellini)
1 cup warm water
1 dash paprika
1 dash dried thyme

1 ½ cups torn, bite-size pieces of rotisserie chicken breast

¼ lb orzo or other small pasta shape, cooked

. Boil water and cook pasta while soup is being prepared
. Heat oil over medium heat
. Add onions and sauté until translucent, and then add garlic. Cook, stirring frequently, for 2 more minutes (do not let brown)
. Add tomato sauce, tomato chunks, and rosemary. Cook for 5 minutes
. Add chicken broth, bouillon, herbs, beans, lemon juice, and water, then simmer for 15 minutes
. Immediately before serving, add orzo and chicken meat
. Spoon into shallow bowls and garnish with fresh parsley or rosemary

To Morocco, in 45 Minutes

Sunday night. The wind was howling at a paralyzing 10°, and Monday morning was lurking just around the corner.

I craved an escape from my mid-winter slump, dreaming of jetting to some foreign milieu to soak up every sunbeam and feast on all exotic dishes therein. However, this was not a feasible option, and I settled instead on preparing a hearty stew inspired by my desire for a slice of the Mediterranean and the preserved lemons that had sat patiently in my fridge for the past month.

Although not quite a vacation, my kitchen did fill with the aroma of North African spices for a few hours, and somehow the week ahead no longer seemed quite as daunting.


Moroccan Stew with Preserved Lemons

This stew is not only easy; it’s also incredibly healthy. It's packed with iron, omega 3s, and protein, without any any help from meat or dairy. The brand of vegetable broth is crucial in developing the rich base- Imagine is best. Look forward to leftovers- it’s even better the next day.

⅓ cup olive oil
½ large white onion, chopped
2 large garlic cloves, minced
1 (16 oz) can “no salt added” diced tomatoes with juice
1 tsp ground cumin
½ tsp ground coriander
½ tsp ground cinnamon
2 cups cauliflower florets (bite-size pieces)
2 ½ cups Imagine vegetable broth
2 small preserved lemons, chopped (about ¾ of a cup)
3 cups fresh baby spinach, stems removed
1 ½ cups garlic-marinated green olives, pitted and halved
1 can chickpeas, drained

1 cup Israeli couscous (cooked according to package directions)

For garnish:
Chopped flat-leaf parsley
Chopped, toasted cashews

Cook time: 45 min
Serves 4-5

. Heat olive oil over medium heat in large, heavy-bottom pot
. Add onion and sauté until translucent
. Add garlic and cook for 1-2 minutes, being careful not to let it brown
. Add canned tomatoes with juice, along with the cumin, coriander, and cinnamon
. Simmer for 5 minutes to let flavors meld
. Add cauliflower florets and cook for another 5 minutes, stirring frequently
. Add vegetable broth, preserved lemons, and olives; simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally
. Begin cooking Israeli couscous, according to package directions
. Add baby spinach, olives, and chickpeas
. Cook for another 10-15 minutes until cauliflower is cooked through
. Serve in shallow bowls over couscous, garnishing with parsley and chopped cashews

Bark with Some Bite

With the holiday season still flickering in the wake of its demise, I can officially declare I’ve had enough of Christmas caroling, gift wrapping, and cookie-baking. However, in these unsullied days of 2011, it seems that some of the 2010 debris persists. In my case, this means countless rolls of tattered wrapping paper, a prickly carpet of pine needles where the tree once stood, and more chocolate and candy than any sane, normal person should be in possession of.

In light of the latter, I recently stood in front of my bulging pantry, fighting the urge to toss it all into the garbage. But of course, I couldn’t. Instead, I decided to err on the frugal side and incorporate the sweets into some new entity that could be re-gifted; thereby relinquishing my possession of it as soon as possible.

I evaluated my ammo: several bars of good dark chocolate (72%), 5 cans of Mauna Loa’s Kona coffee-glazed macadamia nuts, and a large box of salted caramels. My imagination immediately leapt to one luscious batch of chocolate macadamia cookies, but since I am not a baking enthusiast, I was exhausted simply by the prospect.

And then, an epiphany: bark. I used to make white chocolate peppermint bark with Esmeralda when I was little. Apparently my favorite part was smashing the little mint pieces into oblivion with a meat tenderizer. I hadn’t made it since then.

I decided to use the intense dark chocolate as a base, lightening it up with artful drizzles of white chocolate and salted caramel. To finish, I sprinkled the melted chocolate with crushed Heath Bar, slivered almonds, and of course, the coffee macadamia nuts. The result was crunchy, crispy, chewy, and creamy… true chocolate divinity.

Chocolate bark’s flexibility is terrific- you can truly use any extras you have on hand to make it your own. The key is simply to find a balance of textures and tastes to really make it fresh and interesting.

A few ideas:

Base: any solid dark, milk, or white chocolate
Crunchy: chopped pretzels, walnuts, pistachios, hazelnuts, pecans, granola clusters, or bacon
Chewy: dried cherries, candied orange rind, nougat, or marzipan
Creamy: melted Nutella, marshmallow fluff, cream cheese, or peanut butter





ESB Chocolate Bark

. 12 oz semi-sweet chocolate
. ¼ cup melted white chocolate
. ¼ cup melted salted caramels
. 2 Heath Bars, roughly chopped
. ¼ cup Mauna Loa coffee-glazed macadamia nuts
. 3 tbsp slivered almonds

. Melt dark chocolate in a double boiler
. Pour melted chocolate dark chocolate onto a cookie sheet covered in parchment paper, using a spatula to spread it into a layer ¼” thick
. Melt white chocolate in a small saucepan, stirring frequently over low heat
. Melt caramels in microwave until it begins to bubble (30 seconds)
. Drizzle white chocolate and caramel over dark chocolate layer
. Sprinkle remaining ingredients over the chocolate, to taste
. Chill completely, then break apart into large pieces

Conquering the Morning After, One Bite at a Time

In honor of the New Year, this post is dedicated to January 1st’s international ailment: the hangover.

Different countries tout various remedies; Vietnam relies on the noodle soup known as pho, while Mexico swears by its tripe stew called menudo. To each his own, but personally the thought of choking down sheep’s stomach first thing in the morning is far from appetizing.

There appears to be a consensus in America, however, that carbs, grease, and breakfast fare are all excellent choices for the morning after- the larger the quantity, the better. A towering stack of fluffy pancakes drenched in sticky syrup and slathered with melted butter; a steaming bowl of silky fettuccini tossed in an unctuous Alfredo cream; a chargrilled burger dripping with meaty juice, topped with thick-cut bacon still sizzling from the griddle; all are strong contenders in battling the morning-after blues.

Nevertheless, sometimes while hung over it just isn’t possible to cook a gourmet meal, let alone leave the house. On such desperate occasions, before you reach for the ramen, consider the following recipe. Not only does it combine the grease, carb, and breakfast elements, but it also utilizes ingredients you should already have on hand. Even better, the dish takes minimal effort, so you’ll be nestled back in bed in no time.

Cook’s note: I have not included a picture with this recipe for the simple fact that it is not a pretty dish. But considering its irresistible nature and your current physical state, who really cares?


“The Morning-After Spaghetti Scramble”

. 4 strips thick-cut bacon, cooked and crumbled
. ¼ pound spaghetti, or other long pasta
. 2 large eggs, lightly whisked
. 2 tbsp heavy cream
. 2 tablespoons butter
. Grated parmesan, mozzarella, or cheddar for topping

. Cook bacon in microwave according to package directions, set aside
. Cook spaghetti until al dente, drain, and transfer it to a large skillet
. On medium heat, immediately add whisked eggs and cream, tossing with pasta to coat
. Add butter and bacon bits, mixing thoroughly for 30 seconds, allowing some of the egg to scramble (the egg that doesn’t will create a smooth coating for the pasta)
. Quickly transfer spaghetti mixture to a bowl, topping with grated cheese
. Serve immediately, accompanied by a side of aspirin and tall glass of water

(Cook’s note: Don’t bother saving leftovers if there are any: this dish is best eaten straight out of the skillet.)